Slowly but surely, as more and more cities are overtaken as tourist destinations, it is harder and harder to see the real culture and people behind the desire to take the tourists’ money. Fortunately, Moscow doesn’t seem to have that problem. Instead, it lays bare its harsh nature and its wild side for all to see. You will, of course, be quoted tourist prices unless you speak fluent Russian, but you can treat this as an opportunity to develop your hardcore haggling skills.
Aside from this, Moscow is surprisingly beautiful. Rounding the corner and seeing St Basil’s Cathedral come into view is a staggering moment, as is the exploration of the Kremlin. Standing in the Red Square, you will find yourself surrounded by intricate and awesome architecture.
Yep, Moscow is an interesting one. Not as easy to travel through as some cities, but well worth the effort. You know you’ve visited somewhere unique when you’ve been here.
Stuff you should definitely see – just a few of the major ones
The Kremlin/Around the Kremlin
To go into the Kremlin itself, you have to get separate tickets for the Cathedral Square and the Armoury. It’s about 350 roubles for each ticket, and remember you can’t take bags in – best not to have one with you because the whole process of checking them in is so much more hassle than it’s worth. You should really go to the Kremlin, largely because that’s what everyone does, and it IS amazing. Apparently there’s some shoot-’em-up game for PlayStation 2 that takes place inside the Kremlin – one guy was amazed to find that he knew his way around the inside of the Kremlin after months of playing this game. Surreal stuff. It’s open Friday to Wednesday, so you’re bound to be there for a few days that it’s open.
Cathedral Square tickets will get you access to all the cathedrals and some of the parliament buildings. The ticket office is open from 9.30am to 4.30pm, and once you have your ticket you can go in at any time after 10am. Kick-out time is 6pm.
The Armoury ticket will get you into the treasury, and you can only go in there at certain times: 10am, 12pm, 2.30pm and 4.30pm. The sessions in there last 1 ½ hours. It’s all about the Faberge eggs and coronation thrones and other incredibly bling things. They only allow a certain amount of people in at these times, and they tend to sell the tickets for each one about an hour beforehand. In summer it’s manic, and you can frequently queue for hours and still not get be able to get ticket. If you do go, make sure you’re there at least an hour before the time of entry to get your tickets. You’ll probably be accosted in the queue by tour guides who will offer to take you to the head of the line and also guide you around the inside themselves. It’s really up to you and how much you want to just gawp at the splendour, or whether you’d actually like some solid information. These guides are expensive, but they know their stuff.
St Basil’s Cathedral
You’ll see this at one end of Red Square – you can hardly miss it. It’s the multi-coloured Disney castle looking thing. It’s got nine of those ice-cream swirl domes on it because inside they are each a separate chapel. It’s about 100 – 150 roubles to get in – very cool stuff. Check the opening times on the outside, though. There’s a similar but much more recently built one in St Petersburg (Church on Spilled Blood), which is decked out in slightly more aesthetically pleasing colours.
Lenin’s Tomb
So when Lenin died, they decided to embalm him and put him on display, along with Ho Chi Minh in Vietnam and Mao in China. And you can go see him! Fantastic stuff. His granite tomb is pretty ostentatiously displayed in the middle of Red Square. It’s actually free, but you have to queue and wait. It’s open from 10am until 1pm on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. If you do this, start queuing at 9am/9.30am. Luckily, because it’s just a continuous stream of people filing past his coffin, the queue does move. A couple of points – don’t being cameras in – you won’t be allowed and there’s nowhere to check them, and there’s nothing more annoying than waiting in a queue for an hour then being refused admittance. You will have your bag searched, so try not to have anything too incriminating in there. You know, like a knife. Oh, and the guards in there are clearly itching for a fight. Don’t look ’em in the eye. Definitely don’t talk. Don’t smile, even when you see that Lenin looks like a tiny waxwork man. It’s quite an experience.
Pushkin Fine Arts Museum/Tetryakov Fine Arts Museum.
They’re both world famous, but unless you’re really, really into art then just go to one. The Pushkin is probably better. It’s famous for its Impressionist and Post-Impressionist collection, whereas the Tetryakov is famous for its Russian icon collection. If you’re not into art at all, then maybe give them a miss! They’re both somewhere between 200 and 300 roubles.
Arbat Street
So easily our favourite place in Moscow, even though it’s a bit touristy. It’s a long pedestrian street filled with street artists, really cool souvenir stalls, great bars and great restaurants. We’ve seen those giant Russian Blue cats for sale here (they cost a bloody fortune anywhere else in the world) along with these weird people who have animals like rabbits and puppies and they charge you to hold them... most odd. Have you had your rabies jabs? But it’s a really nice, arty street, with a good buzz, and if you want to do souvenir shopping it’s a fairly good place. In theory it’s expensive, but unless you’re Russian you’re not going to get stuff cheaper anywhere else... But you have to avoid buying stuff at the top of the street (the end closest to the Kremlin) and keep walking until the price drops.
The Metro
It’s absolutely brilliant. But what you need to remember is that the different exits for each stop are spread very widely apart. It’s also worth remembering that there are two blue lines (one light, one dark) and they both have a stop with the same name (Smolenskaya). The two stops are not at the same place, because of course that would be too easy.
Basically, when you get down to platform, there will be a sign overhead with all the names of the stops on the line (in Cyrillic) either on the right or on the left. This is how you know which side of the platform to be on. Get yourself a metro map that has both the Cyrillic spellings and the Roman spellings. It’ll make life a lot easier.
They do actually announce each stop as you go, but not very loudly or clearly, and you can’t see the name of each station as you come in. Your best bet, therefore, is to count the stops as you go. Concentrate!
To make sure you’re following the right line for stations that have more than one line running through them, follow the signs overhead that have a strip of the colour of the line.
In terms of tickets, the best thing to do is get a ticket with 10 singles on it, and keep hold of that. If you’re working then presumably you’re going to be driven around a lot, so maybe 10 will do you for sightseeing?
Don’t take photos on the metro, no matter how cool the stations are, unless you’re sure no one can see you. You can actually get arrested for this.
Food and stuff – deliciousness on a budget. Not easy in Moscow.
Probably our favourite place in Moscow is a place called Moo-Moo (spelt My-My), which is appropriately characterised by having a big cow outside it, and they’re almost all decorated in cow print on the outside. It is a chain, but our favourite one is about two thirds of the way down Arbat street on the left. Basically, it’s a really upmarket canteen, where you go in and grab a tray and then point at stuff you want to eat. You have to try to Borscht which is beetroot soup with meat and sour cream. When you pay at the end, if the cashier likes you she’ll give you a Krufki (a kind of fudge type sweet with a caramel centre), and if she really likes you she’ll give you two. If she is a moody Russian then you get none. So smile lots and be charming.
If you want something nice and snacky, look for Teramok (spelt Tepamok). This is a pancake (blini) place, doing all sorts of sweet and savoury pancakes for great prices. Actually, they do good borsht, too. It’s a massive chain, kind of like the Russian answer to MacDonald’s. But better. Go with the cheese and mushroom one, and the wild berries and cream one. Although they do really exciting ones with caviar, should you so wish.
Again, if you’re busy and speed is a factor, go for the underground food court. Basically, there’s a fairly huge underground shopping centre just outside red square. You can see the top of it because it has domes that usually have fountains going over them. Anyway, at the very bottom level of the shopping centre there is a food court, which was all sorts of foods, and most of it is very good.
Nightlife
Not a straightforward matter. Basically, they have this fantastic concept called face control, which basically amounts to the fact that if you aren’t pretty and well-dressed and groomed enough, you ain’t getting in. Anywhere. Being a scruffy traveller doesn’t help – you need to make the effort. My favourite conversation with a doorman went something like this:
Him: You have reservation? (Their equivalent of, “Are you on the list?”)
Me: No.
Him: Private party.
Me: I think you’re lying.
Him: That may be so, but it is still private party.
Well, that’s me told. On the other hand, it’s fun to try. You can, in fact, give reserving a table a go – call them up during the day. I think one place that does this is called Che (as in Guevera), which is on the map and is near to Red Square. Otherwise, your best bet is to have a few stunning women in tow (not a hard feat, in Russia).
For bar listings (and their respective face control policies) get a copy of Exile newspaper. This is a free paper run by two American expats who get wasted all the time, and in theory I should be appalled by how... appalling it is. But actually, it’s very, very honest. Anyway, they do bar and club listings. Most of the bars are open at least until 7am, and quite a few are 24 hours. You will be accosted by prostitutes. It’s a hard life. If you’re there with Russians you should get their recommendations, too.
Check out http://www.waytorussia.net/Moscow/PubsBars.html for some good suggestions.
Some stuff to know about Moscow
Always take your passport everywhere you go in case you’re spot-checked by the multitude of soldiers they have knocking around. Your hotel will take it briefly when you check in, but this is just to register you, and you should be able to get it back pretty quickly.
Conversely, have a couple of photocopies of both your passport and your visa in case your bag gets nicked with your passport in it.
Don’t be surprised by how insanely dressed up the women are, even for such things as going on the metro. Or at the revolting fashion sense, or lack thereof. Some of the most colourful outfits I’ve ever seen.
If the entire army suddenly seems to be out in force, it’s best to head in the opposite direction.
You might as well use ATMs as change money. They do tend to be inside banks, though, which often don’t open until 10am. You can pay your taxi driver from the airport in dollars, but I’ve never heard of anyone paying in anything else. Try not to change money in your hotel – you’ll be robbed blind. There’s a reasonable money exchange place on the same road as Che, only further towards Red Square.
When you get to the airport, immigration will take forever. It should cost 50 to 70 US dollars to get to central Moscow – the prices you will get quoted will be about 3 times that. They do that wonderful thing where they show you a laminated piece of paper with prices on, saying they are the official prices. Rubbish. It would be more convincing if they didn’t spell official with only one f. So you haggle. He’ll give you a ridiculous price, you laugh and say “I don’t think so, mate”, he says, “Ok, we compromise”, you say “I’ll give you 40” and then go a bit higher from there. Blah, blah, blah, I’m sure you know the drill. But I resent evil Russians ripping you off.
Just to try to go there with the knowledge that Muscovites are not friendly people. Or particularly happy people. And they will shove you round, and stare at you with completely uncalled for hostility, and quite often shrug and wave you away if you ask for help. So if you need help, either ask at your hotel, where they’re quite nice to guests, or ask a pretty girl and make it clear you’re a foreigner. They’re all about assuming foreigners are really rich and throwing themselves at them.